By Bradley Harrington
“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” — Theodore Roosevelt, “Letter to Henry Sprague,” 1900 —
In view of the fact that we as a nation are well on our way towards electing one of the two biggest and most unpopular boobs to ever run for the presidency in this country’s history, the thought has repeatedly crossed my mind: What would I do if I were the President of the United States?
Not that I would ever run for the job, of course. The solutions to the problems America currently faces are not to be found on a merely political level, as it is the philosophical underpinnings of a free society that are now under attack — and it is on this level that the battle most needs to be fought. Still, one never knows; someone might hold a gun to my head.
Presuming that this were the case, then, here’s how I would deal with the problems facing our country today:
■ UNEMPLOYMENT: Minimum-wage laws, “public works” projects, regulations and greedy labor unions are the main reasons why America suffers under unemployment. In order to return to the days of full employment, therefore, we only need to abolish the minimum-wage law, get rid of “public works” projects, eliminate regulations and finish declawing the labor unions.
■ WELFARE: All so-called “welfare” programs are based on an act of theft and will therefore be abolished. When government plunders Peter to pay Paul, individual incentive and initiative are the first two things to disappear, never mind the manner in which those “welfare” taxes stunt the capital accumulation needed for true economic growth to occur. Work – or rely on charity. Your “need” does not give you the right to pirate the pockets of your neighbors.
■ IMMIGRATION: If you want to come here, come here to be an American. While no reasonable person would complain about any immigrant’s attachment to his own cultural norms, keep in mind the fact that if that culture was so good, he’d still be living there.
Learn the culture, learn the language. That’s what immigrants do. And, above all, keep your hands out of the taxpayers’ pockets! We earned our money … You can do the same.
■ EDUCATION: It is the educational system of a nation that determines the intellectual trends of the next generation. Today, in the United States, our public schools, instead of teaching freedom, self-reliance and individual initiative, are brainwashing our youth with the authoritarian doctrines of collectivism.
Or, when you nationalized our very minds, were you expecting something different? Privatize the entire mess and let the free market improve quality while it reduces costs.
■ FOREIGN POLICY: For the greater part of 150 years (i.e., prior to World War I), America practiced (for the most part) a foreign policy of non-interventionism, and was thus spared the death, destruction and paralysis which periodically afflict nations that frequently fight wars. Since World War I, however, we have made it our business to stick our noses into every tribal war on the planet.
And the results? I hardly think anyone could claim that the world has been made any safer for freedom. We should proudly assert our national sovereignty and independence and reject the “One World” syndrome by: (a) ending all foreign aid; (b) dumping the United Nations; and (c) bringing the bulk of our armies back home to America where they belong, instead of posturing as the world’s (hated) global policeman.
■ TERRORISM: First, we identify the terrorists. Second, we wipe them out. And our airports? We would do far better to adopt the techniques employed by Israeli security forces at Ben Gurion airport in Tel Aviv, the safest airport in the world, rather than the mooing cattle lines currently engineered by the TSA. (Assuming that it’s actual safety you’re after, that is.)
■ DEFICIT SPENDING: In view of the other points raised, I believe it’s pretty clear that deficit spending will no longer be a problem. Apply budgetary surpluses to the national debt until it’s finally square. Sell off all unconstitutionally-“owned” federal lands to speed up that process. This ain’t rocket science.
These, then, are some of the policies I would pursue as President. They would, in view of our system of legalized pressure-group warfare, be anything but popular. These measures, however, are certainly realistic, in the sense that if they were enacted, the problems they address would cease. How more real can you get?
But don’t bother telling me that I would never get elected on such a platform; I know that. I didn’t want the job, remember?
Bradley Harrington is a computer technician and a writer who lives in Cheyenne. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
NOTE: This column was originally published in the “Wyoming Tribune Eagle” on July 22, 2016. Here is this column’s original downloadable PDF file.